Our Story

I met Elizabeth in high school in 2019. I was a junior, she was a sophomore, and a relationship of this magnitude was the absolute last thing on either of our minds. One of us was focused on academics, planning for the future, and making good, responsible decisions. The other one was me.

My first impression was that Elizabeth was smart, driven, and honestly far too put together to have much patience for someone whose long-term plan was ... a Future Spencer problem.

I also knew she had a crush on me. Which was understandable because, as I remember it, all the girls in high school did. Elizabeth may strongly dispute that version of events, but this is my section.

Anyway, despite our differences, we just kept finding reasons to spend time together. Talking to her was easy. She occasionally questioned my ... less mature ways ... without ever making me feel judged, and somehow, she found my complete lack of a five-year plan more entertaining than alarming.

At the time, I thought we were just becoming good friends. Obviously, it ended up becoming one of the most important relationships in my life. Neither of us knew that yet, though.

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Spencer and I have always been unlikely friends, and in high school, very few people even knew we were friends. That was mainly due to the fact that we had exactly zero activities or classes together. We were both popular, but as Spencer noted in his earlier section... for very different reasons. Coming from a loud, fun-loving family, it was hard not to notice Spencer, as different as we seemed on paper.

I first remember "meeting" Spencer as he was running through the choir room trying to catch a frisbee one of his hooligan friends had decided to throw indoors. I feel like it should be noted that Spencer was not in choir. As a theme, you'll notice Spencer is always getting into things. Annoyed at the disturbance, I couldn't help but smile at his goofy nature, comfortability with those around him and those unlike him, and, surprisingly, his levelheadedness. Although his chosen company was questionable, I could tell there was something deeper in Spence that had a vision of the future beyond the four walls of high school.

Alright, so my name must be cleared because Spencer loves telling people that I was obsessed with him from the moment I met him. Which is NOT true.

And that is also not completely untrue. Although his ego is big, his heart is somehow bigger, and before I was even thinking of going on a date with this guy, I wanted to know more about him. And thus came the phone calls.

I may be the only person to say this ever, but COVID-19 was a gift to our relationship. It was the first time the world and distractions slowed down, and in the quiet, Spencer and I began hanging out more. This may be partially due to the fact that by Spring 2021 Spencer was a self-inflicted orphan when he decided not to move to Oregon with his parents. My house, and the consistent supply of hot meals, may have been a minor draw...

Regardless of the reason, I wasn't complaining. Having Spencer stop by almost every day was typically the highlight of my otherwise mind-numbing online school experience. Throughout the roughly three years we'd known each other at that point, I had found myself interested in Spencer at various times. I thought he was cute, hilarious, and somehow, in his "life of the party" self, the calm to my often stormy anxiety. Beyond all of these things, though, I noticed Spencer had a heart of gold and openly and freely gave to those around him whenever and however they needed him. That kind of generosity made an impact on me and has remained throughout our relationship.

So yes, I did like Spencer before he liked me, but not because "all the girls in high school did," as Spencer would like the story to be told, but because I liked him, and he didn't like me because he was an idiot. What does the research show??? Girls mature faster than boys??

However, even though it may make him an idiot, I had no expectation that he would like me back. Over the years, I had subtly tested the waters to see his response, always getting a friend vibe in return. In fact, Spencer is famously quoted as saying, "I mean, I think Gumper's great, beautiful, and smart... but I would never LIKE like her..."

This engagement ring on my finger is proof that Spencer is, in fact, sometimes wrong.

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By April 2021, Elizabeth and I had become extremely close. One night, we were sitting together while she rambled on about something she insists was The Croods. That may be true, but my capacity for listening to whatever it was about had been reached several minutes earlier.

I remember looking at her while she talked and thinking about how pretty she was. She was completely absorbed in whatever point she was making, talking with her hands and getting increasingly passionate about a subject I had long since stopped following. She looked happy, comfortable, and entirely herself.

Unfortunately, she also showed absolutely no sign that she intended to stop talking. So I leaned over and kissed her. It happened to be the only available method of ending the lecture.

Shortly afterward, she asked the inevitable, “So ... what are we?” I responded, “We. Are. Farmers. Bum ba-dum bum bum bum bum.” I thought it was funny. She may still be mad at me.

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A KISS was the last thing I was expecting Spencer to do in the middle of us watching The Croods. After all, I was making a very sound argument about how COVID kind of felt like being trapped in a cave like in the movie.

Truth be told, my heart was in my chest that entire movie. Something about me is that when I am nervous, I talk more (thanks for giving me that trait, Mom).

And then there was the accountability. I wasn't just going to sit there and be kissed by some shmuck without knowing what our relationship entailed! After years of unrequited love, this was not going to be some sick joke to see how I'd respond. So yes, I asked, "What does this mean? What are we?" and this BUM had the audacity to make a Farmers Insurance joke. I was appalled. And yeah, I AM STILL MAD. To make things worse, when we told that story to my mom later, she thought it was hilarious... to be betrayed by my own mother...

After the insurance incident, I decided we were dating. Spencer didn't know that, but it was, in fact, true. So true to me that a few weeks later, when Spencer started acting all nervous and serious (you know something's up if he's acting serious), and he nervously asked me, "Will you be my girlfriend?" I actually laughed out loud. Not probably the reaction he was hoping for. But I told him, "We can remember this date for anniversaries, but we already are dating."

Not much changed going from friends to a couple, mainly because we already were obsessed with each other. Spencer was at every family dinner (so much so that my mom just started making more food to account for him each night, thanks Mom!), and we spent every free moment together. Best friends was an understatement, with many afternoons spent arguing playfully (as you can tell, we are both very stubborn people), going on adventures like picnics and car rides, playing instruments and singing, and watching movies.

That summer flew by and built a really solid foundation for the rest of our relationship.

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With my impeccable timing, I started our relationship right before Elizabeth left for college, immediately turning us into a long-distance couple. She moved to Fort Collins while I stayed in Colorado Springs, putting about 140 miles and two and a half to three hours of I-25 between us, which was simultaneously completely manageable and more than enough for me to complain about.

Over the next few years, I probably spent close to a million dollars on gas driving back and forth to visit her. That number may not survive an audit, but it certainly felt accurate at the time.

I did not make the trip every weekend, but I made it often enough to become intimately familiar with the route, every construction zone, and all the places traffic could suddenly stop for no apparent reason. It was far enough away for me to complain about (although I’m not convinced a shorter distance would have prevented that), but still close enough to make the drive whenever we had the chance to spend a weekend together.

When I was in Fort Collins, I occasionally took us to Big City Burrito, a place I genuinely loved despite several of my friends calling it “Big Shitty Burrito.”

Somewhere between all those drives, college classes, jobs, moves, and controversial burritos, we started growing up together. Our lives kept changing, but no matter how inconvenient the distance became, I kept making the trip.

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Well, Spencer left me to write the section about our breakup. Gee, thanks honey! Just kidding, it's honestly payback for the pain endured lol.

Anyways, three years of college flew by, and graduation came quickly. With all the amazing friends, experiences, and memories Spencer and I had collected throughout the four years together, real life was coming fast. And it terrified me.

Responding in the only way I knew how to maintain control, I blindsided both Spencer and myself when I broke up with him in early fall 2024.

I still struggle with actually articulating why I felt like we needed the space. It wasn't a desire to see other people or live a different life. It was more rooted in a fear that growing up happens in a blink of an eye, and as I stood with both feet on the edge of my new job, recently graduated, I didn't have a guarantee of what was next. I tend to like guarantees. Life tends not to offer them.

Regardless of the initial reasoning, both Spence and I look back now and realize we both needed that time and space. It was the first time we had taken a step back from each other since we were 18 years old. We didn't know what life was like without the other, much less who we were without the other.

The lessons learned during this time are countless. I grew more as an individual in those eight months than I did in previous years of my life. I quickly learned that life will never offer permission, a warning, or a guarantee. But it is up to me to decide who is by my side through it all. And Spencer was always the hand I wanted to reach for for lifetimes to come.

I also learned quickly how much my family (both immediate and extended) adored Spencer. I always felt blessed to have their acceptance of him, but when I saw actual tears from all of them when he stopped coming around, I felt like I had gotten rid of an extended brother, son, cousin, etc. Everyone did their best to hide it from me, but between my mom taking Spencer to lunch to check on him, my cousins and uncle continuing to text him and check in, and my brothers calling him up, I realized we all were grieving.

Deep in my heart, I knew this was not the end of our story, but I didn't know where it went from here. I constantly thought about Spencer, wished nothing but happiness for him, and was heartbroken when he moved to Indiana to be closer to family. Trusting God, I surrendered to His plan.

Apparently, the 140 miles between Colorado Springs and Fort Collins had not been enough, because when Elizabeth and I decided we needed some space, I figured I might as well add another digit to the distance and move about 1,100 miles away to Indiana, where my parents lived.

I expected the move to give me a fresh start and enough distance to figure out what came next. Then I landed, looked around at the ... scenery ... and, for the first time in my previously flawless life, wondered if I had made a mistake. No more mountains, just trees and corn. Good ol’ Indiana.

Eventually, I realized it was exactly where I needed to be at that point in my life, bringing my mistake record safely back to flawless.

Then Elizabeth came to visit me over Valentine’s Day. She insisted the timing was entirely coincidental, and for the sake of her reputation, I will admit that it genuinely might have been. I still saw an opportunity and had no intention of wasting it.

After her first visit, it was clear that it was only a matter of time before I came back. Each trip meant more to me than I knew how to say at the time.

During one of those visits, I took her bass fishing. I had been fishing for bass my entire life. Naturally, she caught a bigger bass than I had ever caught and then immediately retired from the sport. She has not touched a fishing pole since.

Apparently, she only needed to establish that she could do it better than me and then walk away undefeated. It was remarkably cruel.

Away from our old routines and expectations, we had the chance to see each other differently. By the time she had booked several flights, it was becoming difficult to pretend that either of us was simply revisiting the past. We were beginning to build something new.

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One regret I have is not opting into one of those scammy credit cards they try and offer you mid-flight. You know the ones on Frontier where you get a million points, but only if you sign up and give them your firstborn child on the spot? Yeah, because if I had one of those, we'd be flying to our honeymoon on points alone.

Needless to say, I know every possible way to get to good ol' Warsaw, Indiana. You've got your classic routes through Indianapolis and Chicago, both with two-and-a-half-hour drives following touchdown, or direct to Fort Wayne, but you have to be okay flying on a plane that is approximately six feet wide.

Either way, I was going. That was for certain.

Seeing Spencer filled my heart in innumerable ways that entire season. No weekend was ever long enough. No, it wasn't picking up where we left off. By now, Spence and I were completely different people, and a reintroduction is more appropriate to call it. We allowed each other the space to have changed. We didn't assume we knew the answer for everything for the other person. We asked questions and got to know each other again, now as completely different people.

In the process, I even found an affection for the Midwest. A Colorado native, I've never seen so many people gape at the sight of someone riding a bike. Like TO a destination. Like ON the road. I don't think they tend to do that much...

Spencer's parents have a beautiful home and feel just like family. Visiting them and Spencer was always easy and filled with many memories of baking, fishing, gardening, and just finding time to talk about the things most important in life. They have always had open arms for me, and I could not envision better in-laws than Spencer's parents and siblings.

Let it be known that I am, in fact, the Bass Master. I did not retire, but you don't get the same level of thrill after you discover a God-given talent and are the best from the beginning. Spencer can keep working on his skills, and before long, he'll be pretty close to catching a fish half the size of mine.

The real test of our relationship was whether we could survive a cross-country drive together. Departing from Indiana, Spencer and I had an adventure ahead of us including St. Louis, Kansas, and honestly idk where else we drove. We both lived to tell the tale. And neither one of us wanted the other to go back to being states away, so it was a huge success.

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When I moved back to Colorado in August 2025, everything felt different. We were not trying to recreate the relationship we had before or pretend the difficult parts never happened. We understood each other better, communicated more honestly, and knew what it meant to deliberately choose each other.

There wasn’t any question in my mind that Elizabeth was the person I wanted to marry. Apparently, there was still some question in hers, because she spent the next several months reminding me nearly every day that I had not proposed yet.

I was completely ready. I was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to surprise her. Eventually, Elizabeth became increasingly concerned that the proposal might never happen, so I made the executive decision to spoil the surprise just enough to reassure her.

I told her that I was planning to propose, but that it could happen anytime between that moment and four months from then. That was all the information she was getting. She became much more patient after that, but it created a new problem. Every dinner, hike, or vaguely romantic activity suddenly looked like a possible proposal. Surprising someone who is actively searching your pockets for the outline of a ring box is nearly impossible.

My solution was to wait until Elizabeth spontaneously suggested something remotely scenic, then take advantage of the opportunity. If the plan was her idea, she would assume there was no way I could already have a proposal prepared.

Months later, on a Thursday, she suggested that we have a picnic after church that Sunday. We had picnics somewhat regularly, so there was nothing suspicious about it. That gave me three days to turn her casual Sunday-afternoon idea into a proposal.

It took until Friday night to find the right location, and the spot had one major problem. The nearest place for a photographer to hide was only about ten or twelve yards away.

For Kiyoshi, apparently, that was not a problem. He had a ghillie suit overnighted and arrived prepared to become completely invisible in a bush.

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Getting John’s permission became its own challenge. I spent three separate days, from Friday through Sunday, trying to find a discreet way to get him alone.

By Sunday morning, I was out of time, so I told Elizabeth I was busy filming and interviewing someone we knew for a commercial. In reality, I was making one final attempt to track down her increasingly elusive father.

John was with Elizabeth’s uncle Tony and, knowing John probably would not have his phone with him, I called Tony instead. They were driving back from somewhere, and I told him I urgently needed to intercept them so I could speak to John alone. By this point, I was making absolutely no effort to conceal why.

John eventually picked me up in his truck. Before I could say much, he looked at me and said, “Well, Spence, you either won the lottery or you’re asking my permission to marry my daughter.” I told him, “Well ... I didn’t win the lottery.” The rest is history.

When Elizabeth and I reached the spot, I immediately became nervous because I could not see Kiyoshi where I had told him to be. Either something had gone wrong and he was not there, or he had become so skilled in the art of hiding directly in front of me that I simply could not find him. There was no time to investigate. It was game time.

I told Elizabeth to turn around because I had a surprise for her. In our relationship, that could mean anything from a cool rock I found to a snack, some candy, or an unnecessarily complicated scavenger hunt, so I still hoped she would not immediately expect a ring.

She asked, “Should I spit out my gum?” I said yes, hoping that would convince her the surprise was edible.

When she finally turned around, I was on one knee with the ring. Almost immediately, I heard the camera begin quietly clicking. I only noticed it because I was desperately listening for proof that Kiyoshi was actually there. Instant relief.

Elizabeth dropped down beside me and started crying. We talked for a few minutes, she became extremely excited, and most importantly, she said yes.

Naturally, one of her first questions afterward was whether we could take pictures. I said, “Of course,” then turned around and stared directly at the bush where Kiyoshi was hiding. Even though I knew where he was supposed to be, it still took me a moment to find him.

This is why several of our proposal pictures show Elizabeth looking completely confused while I smile confidently at some shrubbery.

When she finally noticed the camera, she assumed I had set it up earlier and was controlling it remotely. “When did you set that up?” she asked.

I explained that there was actually a person she knew holding the camera, she just could not see him yet. I told her to look closer. Then came the very confused, “Kiyoshi?!”

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The picnic itself was considerably less impressive. In the middle of planning the proposal, locating the perfect spot, arranging for a fully camouflaged photographer, and tracking down Elizabeth’s seemingly elusive father, I had neglected to obtain decent food. I ended up grabbing a massive, disgusting sandwich from Safeway at the last minute. We ate a few bites, decided that was enough, and left to show her family the ring. The picnic may have been terrible, but everything that actually mattered went exactly right.

Our story did not unfold exactly as either of us expected, but every chapter brought us here. We have grown up, grown apart, found our way back, and continued choosing each other through every version of ourselves. Now we cannot wait to begin the next chapter as husband and wife.

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